I said as I started this project that in looking backwards at these poems, I would do my best to remember what was going on and share that with you. As we hit the halfway point, the seventeenth poem, I realize that for me the decade of the '90s represented the best and worst of everything in my life. Once you choose to "dive deep" and discover what you are really all about, both treasures and horrors will emerge. The challenge then is to remember that you have the power to focus on what you choose to keep alive and let the other wither away.
As I read this poem, that all came back to me in a flash. No one can be harder on me than me. The quest for a sublime "perfectionism" is, in my opinion, a fierce and terrible judgement that will manifest in every facet of one's life with high drama as an indicator. I was in a whirl, looking for ways to ease up on myself and only succeeding in small increments. I see now that this was a start; I don't know if I saw it as such back then.
One other note; this poem was done on our new Mac Quadra 640. We got it and a 16" monitor at a "reduced price" of about $3,000, right before Steve Jobs returned and made that Mac utterly antiquated in less than a year with his (better) decisions. (I just finished his biography and recalled the pain I felt less than eight months after we purchased this when Apple went to the Power PC chips.)
...like I said, drama shows up in all sorts of ways!
May you all enjoy the comfort of home tonight on Christmas eve. That home is built from within. Love to you all.
The rush is on, the frantic pace,
Bringing with it exhaustion and doubt.
It’s so easy for us to simply overlook
What this season is really about.
We pursue surrealistic perfection,
A “Currier & Ives/Hallmark” facsimile.
And if we miss this impossible target,
We beat ourselves up endlessly.
“What will they think about the presents?
Do the lights look just right from above?
And what if my cards don’t get there on time?”
These thoughts reflect fear, not love.
We hold ourselves up to these standards,
So rigid and unwilling to bend.
Guaranteeing us stress, strain and worry
And locking out joy in the end.
You see, what isn’t love is always fear
For nothing else can it be.
And if that thought angers or scares you,
Which are you embracing readily?
Love truly is kind and gentle,
Asking nothing in return from the start.
Make everything you do an act of love
And feel love expand in your heart.
“I almost forgot this thought this year.
Thanks for your patience, kindness and support.”
December 1994 Notables:
1st - 3 Seattle Seahawks injured in a car accident
1st - Cindy Crawford & Richard Gere announce they are seperating
1st - Ernesto Zedillo innaugrated as president of Mexico
1st - PTL leader Jim Bakker released from jail
1st - Rober Schumanns 2nd Symphony premieres in London
2nd - "Cobb" premieres
2nd - Achille Lauro (Willem Ruys) sinks off the coast of Somalia
2nd - Andrew Lloyd Webber admitted to the hospital for ulcer treatment
2nd - Jury finds Heidi Fleiss guilty of running a call girl ring
4th - "Angels in America-Perestroika" closes at W Kerr NYC after 216 perfs
4th - "Angels in America-Millennium Approach" closes at Kerr after 367 perfs
4th - 83rd Davis Cup: Sweden beats Russia in Moscow (4-1)
4th - Marta Figueras-Dottie/Brad Bryant wins LPGA J C Penney Golf Classic
6th - Maltese Falcon auctioned for $398,590
6th - Orange County Calif files for bankruptcy
6th - Warner Brothers announces a 5th TV network to begin on Jan 11, 1995
7th - 5th Billboard Music Awards
7th - Radio personality Howard Stern talks a man out of attempting suicide
8th - "What's Wrong With this Picture?" opens at Circle in Sq NYC for 12 per
8th - Darryl Strawberry indicted on tax evasion charges
8th - Fire in cinema in Karamay China, 310 killed
9th - 5m meteor 1994 XM1 passes within 100,000 km of Earth
9th - Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders resigns after masturbation comments
10th - 60th Heisman Trophy Award: Rashaan Salaam, Colorado (RB)
10th - European Campaign against Racism "All different, All equal" begins
10th - Nobel prize awarded to Yitzhak Rabin, Shimon Peres & Yasser Arafat
11th - Kelly Robbins & Tammie Green wins LPGA Diner's Club Golf Matches
11th - Russian troops pull inside Tsjetsjenie
13th - American Eagle commuter plane crashes in NC, killing 15
15th - "Tuna Christmas" opens at Booth Theater NYC for 20 performances
15th - John Bruton becomes Ireland's premier
15th - Liberia militia kills 48 inhabitants of Monrovia
15th - Palau becomes a member of the UN.
16th - Davy Jones (Monkees), charged with DWI
17th - KLM's last DC-10 goes out of service
18th - "Comedy Tonight" opens at Lunt-Fontanne Theater NYC for 8 performances
18th - "What's Wrong With this Pic?" closes at Circle in Sq NYC after 12 perf
18th - Darryl Strawberry pleads not guilty on tax evasion charges
18th - General Hospital stars Kristina Malandro & Jack Wagner wed
18th - Norman, Couples & Azinger wins LPGA Wendy's 3-Tour Golf Challenge
18th - Socialist Party (ex-communist) wins Bulgaria parliamentary election
19th - Rolls-Royce announces its future cars will feature V12 engine which will be produced by BMW.
21st - Bomb goes off on #4 train on Fulton Street NYC
22nd - "Christmas Carol" opens at Richard Rodgers Theater NYC for 18 perfs
22nd - Italian government of Berlusconi resigns
23rd - Baseball owners impose salary cap, fiercely opposed by players
24th - 4 Moslem fundamentalists capture Air France pilot in Algiers
25th - "Comedy Tonight" closes at Lunt-Fontanne Theater NYC after 8 perfs
26th - Actor Jason Hervey (22) weds Kelley Patricia O'Neill (27)
26th - French commando's terminate Air France hijacking in Marseille
26th - President Clinton's brother Roger Clinton (37) weds 8-mo pregnant Molly Nartin (25)
28th - Billy Ray Cyrus (Achy Breaky Heart) weds Leticia Finley
28th - Boon completes his 20th Test Cricket century (131 v Eng, MCG)
28th - Tammy Wynette admitted to the hospital with bile duct infection
29th - B737-400 flies into a mountain at Edremit East Turkey, 54 killed
29th - Bangladesh government of Zia resigns
29th - Billionaire J Paul Getty Jr marries Victoria Holdsworth on Barbados
29th - Last Dutch electro-magnetic telephone exchange shuts down
29th - Shane Warne takes a hat-trick v England at cricket MCG
31st - 1st snowless December in Baltimore Maryland
31st - Anti Apartheid Group of Netherlands (AABN) disbands
31st - This date is skipped altogether in Kiribati as the Phoenix Islands and Line Islands change time zones from UTC-11 to UTC+13 and UTC-10 to UTC+14, respectively.