Trust30, day 11: Divine Idea

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

Tricky and interesting, this question is! The problem is that for as long as I've been "keeping the light under a bushel," the world has finally caught up (big surprise) and now in claiming my "divine idea," I risk looking like someone who is late to the party.

Confused?

I can't blame you. So was I.

Many things early in life confused me (I've already shared some of the feelings that I had about the kind of childhood that I created/claimed for myself.) But I always knew that there was something "more" to life. Whether it was conscious "conversations with God" as a kid or intense journaling sessions, I was always speaking to a real presence which comforted me.

There were visions, understandings, events (such as being shot with a 10 gauge shotgun; hunting accident, 13 years old) that somehow found me in a state of intense calm. Doctors speaking to me were amazed and then shrugged it off to a state of shock ( but it wasn't.) Same thing happened when I almost drowned in a surfing mishap.

Later in young adulthood, the law of attraction brought me friends who would move my life in untold directions. Naturally, "LOA" wasn't known to us then but it was operating in fine form. I was introduced to trance channeling via the wife of one of my friends. This, for me, was one of the most amazing and terrifying events in my life and it lasted for years. All of the fear was activated in me as well as all of the passion and divinity.

I admit without shame that the fear won out much more often in those years; I also acknowledge that I continued to walk the course. As time did it's thing, I pulled away from many of the people who aided me in becoming spiritually aware. Was it conscious for me to do this? The honest answer is "yes" because I suspect now that the siren song of my life is "I have to do it on my own." It has cost me many relationships that were important to me. That was part of the price I chose to pay.

So I never wrote the book. This hasn't really been made "public" until now. What I've done has been to share many of the things that I've learned/experienced with those whom life has brought to me during the journey. That numbers quite a few people including the primary relationship of my life over the past 11+ years. I just avoided making the bold statement... until now.

Thus when you consider the "spirituality industry" that has grown, with many people yearning for a deeper understanding of the universe and their place in it, it could appear that I'm "joining the club" in putting myself out there.

None of that is within my power nor do I choose to waste energy in attempting to control the uncontrollable. Truthfully stating (and feeling) these words is a major personal victory and I enjoy taking satisfaction in that. All by itself, that is more than enough for me.