Friday, June 24, 2011

Trust30; day 25: Most Ordinary

Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong what is against it. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are our most potent at our most ordinary. And yet most of us discount our “ordinary” because it is, well, ordinary. Or so we believe. But my ordinary is not yours. Three things block us from putting down our clever and picking up our ordinary: false comparisons with others (I’m not as good a writer as _____), false expectations of ourselves (I should be on the NY Times best seller list or not write at all), and false investments in a story (it’s all been written before, I shouldn’t bother). What are your false comparisons? What are your false expectations? What are your false investments in a story? List them. Each keep you from that internal knowing about which Emerson writes. Each keeps you from making your strong offer to the world. Put down your clever, and pick up your ordinary.

My experience has shown me that there is is one negative "master thought" that dominates all others. It can wear many disguises as to deflect interest from itself because when we recognize and reflect on it, it feels so awful that we might begin to see it for the monstrous lie that it is.

These particular two are my "twin killers." I'll share them before pulling the curtain aside to reveal who's really running the show.

The lesser one is something I'll call "authenticism." Much like was stated in the prompt, this sounds like, "My story is nothing special." (Watch how ordinary works its way into the mix.) "I haven't done anything, proven anything.. I'm just ordinary, not an authority on anything meaningful or worth sharing."

Then the fear card gets played; "Besides, if anyone calls me out on not being an authority on this, that would be horrible. I could never live that one down."

The worst, most paralyzing of the demons is one that many know well; perfectionism. "I'll never get this right. If I can't have it perfect, I'm not going to put my name on it. Who am I kidding, why even bother. It will never be perfect. I'll never get it right."

I'm sure many of you will recognize that awful sentiment. Let's not attempt to put any kind of positive spin on this "perfect" garbage. Like all mind trash, it deserves to be dumped.

The mother of these is much, much worse. It would rather use it's "children" such as the ones listed here to remain out of the conscious spotlight.

I'm not good enough.

If you really consider those words, it feels like a little death... and there's no such thing as a "little death."

The self talk will involve use of "ordinary" in terms both mundane and cruel. As stated in today's prompt, it will animate negative comparisons, expectations, false investments and more.

"Oh, that's good for you. You're special. Not me; I'm ordinary."

"That's great for 'them,' not me."

Quit this right now.

We are something more, something "extra."

We are extraordinary. This is who we really are.

Our ordinary is simple grace, essential goodness, a unique point of view that has never been before and will never be again. It has a story associated with it that can spark an idea, light a creative fire, evolve into something practically unimaginable.

Joanne Rowling was an ordinary, unwed mother on welfare. How do you get from that negative label to the incredible empire that today evolves around her creative gravity? Books, movies, toys... an amusement park, for cripes sakes?

This is why the mental "slight of hand." This is why the deflection of dreams with seemingly simple questions like, "How?" Parlor tricks and ugly lies originating from the our deepest darkness, that which is utterly opposite of our true magnificence.

It comes back to choice yet again. Choose which aspect of self to nurture, to listen to and work with, the one that feels good.

Let your music dance and play for the joy of hearing the song. The right people will listen, none more important than you.


  1. Oh, I like this very much. So insightful.Love the title and the visual. Thanks.

  2. Great post! So honest!
    We are all unique, so from that aspect, authenticity emerges.
    "No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers." ~Author Unknown
    Use that eraser!! :)
    Take care!

    Peace, Nico

  3. I do recognize that "awful sentiment". Years ago, I had a boss that constantly asked, "would you sign your name to that?" That question became permanently drilled in my head and not in a beneficial way. It took me a long time to learn that being genuine is more impressive than being perfect. Great post :)

  4. I think that this is the toughest for all of us. I know it's the one I want to admit or face the least and that's where it's power comes from.

    Thanks for your thoughts!